Conflict between what is and what can be, between the need to accept and the desire to create or change.
Doubt demands of us conscious choices, definition, articulation of one's sense of identity and values. The tension speaks to our subconscious beliefs and traits in their encounter with reality - the reality that includes others.
Now we see their reflection, we see our beliefs are options, choices, rather than a natural and universal state of affairs. This conflict tests us, tests our mettle, it teaches us to be true or risk loosing ourselves.
Doubt is a by-product of the outcome of our actions being uncertain - as things progress, the unexpected pain, shapes and pace of reality fire questions at us by the millions; about our goals, our likelihood to success, what success even is, and whether to take action, or which ones.
The questioning is unavoidable, and the condition for adaptation. Doubt becomes unproductive when it turns vigilance into fear, hesitation into paralysis, and shifts into u-turns.
With all our intentions to do right, by ourselves, our family, our responsibilities, we are wise to embrace the social contract for what it is and to not muddy the waters...
That is until we realise that in the game of life, everyone has a different idea of what the rules are or could be, and there is no such thing as THE right thing.
In sharing our differences we unlock a questioning that can always be deeper, and it is on us to be on our own side and go only as far and deep as it keeps us playing.
The way we are, what we do, we generally believe it's right. Maybe we stick to our story because it is simpler, or we feel trapped, or we don't have a better option. We believe how we are is our better option.
We take pride in our constancy, in our righteousness, and we are willing to reconsider just enough to keep our story straight, but not enough to experience the doubt, the void, the painful sense that there is no right, and that our chosen path is nowhere near worthwhile.
When others doubt us, they are really urging us to doubt ourselves. And sometimes we should, just for the sake of growth.
There is a reason some wrongs survive long... They cannot be righted - not yet, not now, not by those who know and want to. There is no merit in throwing all your forces and resources at a problem you can't solve. If irrational, evil, or uncontrollable forces are at play, no amount of virtue and strength of argument will turn the situation around. The cost of trying is high and can't be repaid, the certainty of losing is absolute, and however unacceptable the current situation is, losing what we have left for no gain is worse.
Through tradition, experience, life, we inherit beliefs and wisdom proven by the ages, or just established and shared enough to seem acceptable. We want to honour what has been given us, not reinvent the wheel and trust that the wise know.
Yet, until we've made these values our own, and genuinely considered what we believe and where we distinguish ourselves, what we want to carry over and where we want to break the cycle, we are assailed by doubt and conflict.
Standing by someone else's values 'because we ought' will keep us incomplete and unsuccessful.
The game of life does not rely on us personally to fit any particular bill. To anyone who wants to change the order of things, the world is a gigantic steamroller.
However when we play into forces already at play and augment them, we find purpose and power.
Our certainties cannot lie in control, in the ‘how’, or in an exact outcome, they can only lie in purpose, in values we hold dear and true and choose to live by.
With all the intellectual honesty, the checked facts and the consultations, we start off getting clarity.
But soon enough, all we find out beyond that is how much we don't know, how much we can't control and can't predict.
At some point, it's on us to snap out of doubt and choose to believe something, to hold on to what seems to most true. We need to settle on just enough evidence, what feels right, the best we know, the most we can, and go with it, because the alternative is analysis paralysis.
Taking action involves meeting contention, disagreement, obstacles, and at each step, we are reminded of our doubt and tempted to recoil, change our minds, forfeit our goals.
Those conflicts, inner and outer, are a necessary part of the journey; as we go down the path, the values we made ours come to strengthen and grow, become crisp and solid, and only after many assails can they stand firm and victorious over adversity - at least if we stay with what we chose to go by.
Arguing
Conflict
Contention